its finally surgery day

i have to admit that i'm slightly terrified. i've wanted to get here SO bad, but now that its actually the day, and the time is coming up, i am so scared.
as a nurse i'm used to being completely aware of what is going on around me, (hopefully) in control of the situation, and confident in my own decision making. this is a complete 180 from what i am used to. i'm in a hospital i'm unfamiliar with. i'm the patient checking in. i have nurses starting my iv and pca's taking my vital signs.
i walked in to check in, anticipating filling out some paperwork and having a seat to wait for t and my family to arrive (we were running a little late and they dropped me off and went to park). what i got was an armband placed around my arm over the counter and directions through the double doors to be placed in a hospital room. a hospital room!!!!!! i almost cried. it all seemed so fast that i was sure i'd be put in the back, not able to hug and kiss my family, and whisked off to surgery before i knew it. i really should have known better, but panic is not a state of mind in which i think logically.
i can finally say that i understand how my patient's families feel. the uncertainty, not knowing what the outcome will be. hoping and praying that you just wake up after its all over and that it doesnt hurt too much when you do.
i'm hoping that they dont have to remove my right ovary. my doctor has assured me that she will do everything she can to avoid this and i trust her.
wish me luck and see you when its all over!